Even within the happiest of happy relationships there is always something to work on. Always a bit to do. For if we don’t keep working on ourselves, we cannot evolve. When one person in a relationship stops their self-evolvement, it becomes difficult to grow forward alongside someone when they’re back down the road behind you, stuck in the mud. Sometimes we don’t have the ambition or determination to unstuck ourselves from that mud, leaving our partner to go on head without us. They have to, we have to move forward, for it is unfair to expect someone to let themselves be stuck in the mud with you. We change, we grow, but as long as we can grow beside each other, and walk down that road together, then the relationship will most definitely succeed.
She was married, and then she wasn’t. In the time between being married and meeting him, she had learnt a great deal about herself and who she was in a relationship. As importantly, she had also learned what she needed and expected from a partner. She explained this to him, when her and his roads crossed, and they decided to continue the journey together. He understood, and shared his wants and needs as well. They both felt as if they were finding their feet again, as it had been sometime since he had been sexual and in a relationship. But she was the best for him, as he was the best for her. They were both very well matched together, so naturally in-sync with one another, but occasionally, that area of continual work within your relationship cropped up, which was ok, because they both tended to it.
You see, her main love languages were acts of service & words of affirmations: she needed her partner to show her that they wanted her within their life. From her past experiences, unfortunately, words had become empty air. Failed promises, dying their quick death. She needed the proof. Although she began to trust words again. They still meant a lot to her when she needed them. As much as she enjoyed those comfortable silences with him sometimes, she needed to hear the words from him. He had no issue in showing his love, need, and want for her. Those feelings of his were continuously threaded throughout his small to large thoughtful gestures.
It felt phenomenal to finally have her main love language catered to. But the words were his weak point. He got better with time, as he began to feel complete safety in knowing that she would never shun him for his words of vulnerability. He knew she would never, but that fear was once a common occurrence for him.
On his side, his main love languages were quality time & physical touch: he needed to be around her, to know that she wasn’t going anywhere. Yes, it was also from a place of insecurity, but that was ok. It was understood, as the discovery of her love languages had been discovered from insecurity. If he couldn’t be touching her, then he needed to be near her, in the same room as her, whilst they both delved into their own tasks. But the burn, the ache that trialed along his fingertips and every pore of his physical being, could only be soothed when touching her. His skin called for hers, for her hair, for her warmth. For her. Yes, they were both feral for each other sexually, but he also needed that platonic touch. He needed to be grounded, and the feel of her did that for him.
On the previous subject of the continual work within a relationship, this was clearly where the two had to do that work, as sometimes, he didn’t have the words, and she would go off on her own. Truthfully, she just wasn’t used to having her partner want to be in her literal presence so often. It wasn’t an act of distancing herself from him —although sometimes he did worry that was the case— it was purely the fact that she was so used to being independent, as she had to be, it was routine. It was uncomfortably comfortable. It took a lot of work to adapt to this, and there were days she still had to work on it, as he occasionally still had to work on freeing his words without her prompting. So now, when either of them were having a particular needy day in regards to those particular needs, they would just say it. Which brought them to this present moment—
She woke up on her day off to an empty bed. It was almost startling to wake up without his touch upon her, so immediately she got up in search of her love. Her feet padded along the carpet until she had reached the open kitchen. There he was, already on his way over to greet her as she lingered in the doorway.
“There she is. My angel”, he hummed as he cradled her cheeks within his hands, tilting her sleepy face up to him so he could observe her. “Come sit”, he paused his words to kiss her. “Breakfast is ready”. She sat herself down at the table, a filled plate of her favourite breakfast meal before her. He asked her what she wanted to do on her day off. She wasn’t too sure currently.
The lovely, thoughtful breakfast came to its natural end, and she was determined to load the dishwasher and wipe the benches, and he was surprisingly ok with that before he disappeared.
But as she began to make her way to the bedroom to select some fresh clothes for the day, he intercepted, telling her to follow him. He guided her to the bathroom, where he had prepared a bath for her. “I know you love the occasional morning bath, and you mentioned how your skin was a little dry, so it’s infused with milk and honey”.
She raised herself onto her tip toes and kissed him tenderly, running her fingertips through his short locks and over the skin on the back of his neck. He loved that. He near melted when she did that. With that action alone, she would have the absolute power to pull him back from the verge of personal onslaught. She could essentially feel it within his lips— he needed that extra today. So, once she was settled in the bath, she called for him. He peeped his head around the corner, asking if she needed anything.
“Yes. I need you”. His heart swelled within its own chamber at her words, and her need for him to be near. “Come and sit? With your book?”. And so, he did. He returned with his latest read and settled down against the wall. She watched him intently, watching the tip of his tongue rest between his lips; a sign that he was heavily invested at the monologue upon the current page.
And when his eyes met hers, they never trailed down her body with that usual look of hunger that would express he was famished of her. Her eyes were too empty of such carnal thoughts. It was just two people who were deeply in love with one another —taking care of and responding well to each other's needs of love— casually hanging out in the bathroom together, at nine o’clock on a Thursday morning.
They walked their own paces down the road, but together. Always together.
